When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
