if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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