Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just threw up on my dentist
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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