it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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