its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
