Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
