My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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