Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
