It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
