If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
this beer tastes like vomit already
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
