he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She bit a glass in half.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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