is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
