I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
