It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
