She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
