Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
