I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
