I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
