You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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