No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
