I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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