So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
