I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
