You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I still have a little drunk in my system
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
