even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
