He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
