Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
