He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
