if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
