I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
