Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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