okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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