I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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