Pappa wants mamma naked
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
