don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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