The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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