Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
