By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
