You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
