No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
