quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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