i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
