What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
