sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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