I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
