What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
it was like eating out sand paper
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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