I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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