I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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