so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
