Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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